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Je Regret Nothing
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Series
Episode
4
Airdate
14 January 2013
Ratings
8.8 Million
Running time
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Production code
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Ratings
8.8 Million
Written by
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Je Regret Nothing is the fourth episode of Series 3.

Synopsis[]

Trapped in her flat, caring for a laid up Penny, Miranda is forced to think about her life regrets, and before she has the chance to tick off her bucket list, she falls ill, after which Tilly, Penny, and Stevie offer no sympathy or help at all.

Plot[]

Miranda opens by complaining about caring for her mother who is bed ridden with a back spasm. When the doctor calls to check on Penny, Miranda, Stevie, and Tilly fight to be noticed by him.

After the torment that Miranda has had to deal at her mother’s bedside, she begins to question her life, and regret not trying anything extreme or crazy. She comes to the decision that she will check out the music festival that has come to town. Her mother and friends believe she would never do such a thing, but Miranda promises to prove them wrong.

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When the next day arrives, Miranda is quite ill, and unable to leave her bed. Unsympathetically, Penny and her friends believe she is being a hypochondriac and leave her to suffer. Stevie tries to get her to help with the stock, but when Miranda says she cannot, Stevie offers to make her a breakfast and it is only Miranda’s refusal that Stevie realizes her friend is indeed ill. Tilly and Stevie both try to help Miranda in their own ways, but the cranky Miranda isn't having it, and everyone leaves.

Gary finally arrives, and gives Miranda the sympathy she needs until she discovers the flowers he brought aren't for her, but for the girl he met the night before.

When she feels better the next day, she thinks the best option is to keep playing on her friends guilt, and is catered to all day, until they arrive together while she is playing 'live at Wembley' with her karaoke machine.

Quotes[]

Miranda: Mum's been staying. Not just that - she's been trapped inside with a bad back for five very long days. I even had to take her to the loo. I'll never recover. There should be a law against mothers wearing thongs. Mike accepted a training course to get away; I am at the plotting-her-death stage.

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Miranda: All I think about now is death - mine and the potential joy of yours...What, who said that?

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